For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt!’ Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
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You guys are having way tooooo much fun. I just hope that you are making money too! I’m still laughing! Made my day.
After many years of painstaking research into the family history I was delighted to stumble upon this bog (sorry) BLOG spot entry. along with the links to the Sherlock family you will see that the family branch of the Schitt-Brewins have also come into existence through a similar union.
You may be interested to learn that I have also tracked down some foreign relations…. so far located are the following:
Hungary: Pyla Schitt
China: Dee Pin Schitt
From the Phillipeans: Tor Kin Schitt
Alabama: Moe Schitt
and finally from India: Heepa Schitt
Well that’s enough Schitt for now….
Best Regards
Hava
hey buddy!
i found out one more schitt who was left out in the genealogy.
so, am going to add this up.
wholla schitt is the son of jack schitt and noe schitt born outside of wedlock. it was not actually documented. so, there is no reference to it.
the parents left out the kid in an orphanage and named wholla schitt. wholla schitt was actually present at the wedding of schitt-happens and even inspired bull schitt to go for world tour.
when he came to know about bull schitt marrying pisa schitt, he got overwhelmed with joy to find out that schitts are also in italy!
What a bunch of Schitt!
I love it.
funniest thing I’ve read in a while !! :-)
Well, it’s full of Schitt!
But, read that piece of crap… anyway.
Story, i enjoyed sharing this.
You know, one very notable break from tradition was observed at all of those wedding ceremonies. The fathers of each of the brides did not walk them down the aisle and give them away to their grooms. I asked about it and was told “Nobody ever gives a Schitt.”
Jack became quite famous but it all went wrong when he lashed out at one of his admirers. The Schitt hit the fan.
LMFAO. Very entertaining reading. Will be getting a shit box for V Festival